I must admit, this year started differently than any other year. I am used to spending my pre-holiday time reflecting on achievements and big things that happened during the year which coming to an end, taking time to browse magazines and think about what I would like to do and achieve in the next year, and by the new year I would already have created my vision board, had a clear vision of what I want to have in my life in the next year and what my priorities would be. However, because last year was so crazy and so many things happened I felt so tired to even think about what I may want, let alone to compose something – and all that led me meeting the new year in uncertainty.
Before this year, on January 2nd I would be energized and looking for ways to meet my resolutions, signing up for courses and workshops, and reading countless articles. My situation was different this year- seeing blogs, posters and everything else that was supposed to be motivational only annoyed me. Instead of giving good vibes it actually made me feel bad. After all, it seemed like I was the only one who actually did not make any resolutions for 2017. It felt wrong.
Everything that I wished for and more came true in 2016 and I felt like there was nothing left to wish for – I found a new job and then got a permanent job that I was working 3 years to get, my husband and I bought & moved to a townhouse even though I did not even dream to own a property before the age of 30, we travelled extensively – to Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Switzerland (Zurich, Bern, Locarno, Geneva, Interlaken, Lucerne, Fribourg, Montreaux), Italy (lake Como, islands on the lake Maggiore, Portofino) and France (Cannes). If you look at the map, all of these cities and landmarks are completely in different places, we were driving in zig-zags. On top of everything else, we got a dog, and not any dog, a border collie (large size dog) that we are still trying to train. And before the year was over, we also got a new car. Now that I think about it, the year wasn’t crazy, it was absolutely insane.
Therefore, it does not seem surprising that both my husband and I spent our winter holidays sleeping. We were so tired we could not even stay awake, let alone plan anything. Only now, a month into the new year and during another week of staying home we actually mastered some energy to stay awake and begin doing things again.
As I finally got some time to reflect and think about what happened last year and what is it I may want, I realized that as things change around me – so did my wants and needs. Things I would consider dreamy a year ago no longer satisfy me. For example, if a year ago I would kill for a permanent job anywhere, anyplace, when I got what I wanted (be careful what you wish for) , I realized that I do not want just any job – there is a level of responsibility and skill development opportunities that I want to have. I want to be able to work from home, at least once a month. I want to get a laptop at work (can you believe it is 2017 and yet in government you need to make a business case to ask for a laptop when the time comes to upgrade things, and even then you are denied?). This is just to illustrate that it is really important to know exactly what you want to have, but even then you may not know for sure until you are in the situation, and you listen to yourself and how things make you feel.
Having said all this, I was waiting to get motivated to start doing things. I am a big supporter of all things motivation and I find it really important. However, as I had some time go reflect and understand myself better, I realized that sometimes just another book, motivational speech, song/music or an image may not be enough to motivate you unless deep down you are ready to do things. It does not matter if you read one or 35 motivational books if deep inside you are okay with the status quo. It also works the other way around – you may not need any motivational “products” because one day you just look at your life and you realize exactly what bothers you and what you can and can’t live with. One day you wake up and realize that you were looking at your problem in the wrong light. Maybe you were trying to solve the wrong problem, or maybe the problem exists on much bigger, universal scale. Maybe to solve this problem you do not need any motivation at all, because how you feel inside about it is enough to completely destroy things, bring everything to the ground, and then build a brand new, freshly painted future that you will be proud of. So the advice of the day is: do not look for motivation outside, look within yourself and think about what is it that drives you and what matters to you and why, and that would be the most effective and long-lasting motivation to change things to the way you want them to be.